I’ve realized recently that not everyone shares my “honesty is best” policy. The hardest relationships I have are the ones I’m not quite sure are exactly what they seem. Why is it some people seem unable to just be themselves?
Many relationships in my life are somewhat volatile. Not that we fight constantly, yell and scream or beat on each other, just that when something upsets either person – it’s going to be talked about. However inconvenient, wherever we are – whatever it is, “it” is going to be out there . Those conversations aren’t usually exactly pleasant, but they are necessary to preserve an ongoing healthy friendship. After the tears and hugs, I’m usually reassured by these altercations, they let me know that problems are being dealt with. They confirm that my friend (or family member often) is being forthcoming about the things that irk them about me. I don’t have the sense that there are things being left unsaid, or things being said to other people rather than to my face. I know it sounds a little strange, but I’m comforted by honesty – even when it’s not pretty. I would rather have 1 friend who is truthful (even when it hurts) than a dozen who passively placate me just to “keep the peace”. [Read more…]